Lesbian Mom Answers Oprah Hurt Me to Oprah’s Weekly Lifeclass Question

Oprah Invites Rick Warren to teach Lifeclass – “Oprah perhaps you do not understand the extent to which LGBT Americans are impacted by the denial of our basic civil rights,” Melanie Nathan

By Melanie Nathan, Oct 07, 2012.

That lesbian mom is me. Oprah’s Lifeclass site asks its usual weekly question  “Are you hurting an important woman in your life? Or is an important woman in your life hurting you?”  I choose the second question, and Oprah and you have my answer:  Oprah,  you are an important woman in my life and you ARE hurting me and this is why:-

I have a family – once married to my same-sex partner and now divorced.  My right to equality was as important when it came to marriage as was when it came to the divorce. Being able to marry, in California, before Proposition 8, enabled my already existing family to feel like  all American families, at least to some extent.   Regardless of their parent’s sexuality my family of 2 daughters became legally real, even without the imperative federal rights that would have made us truly equal. What made my marriage even more important to my family was when the breakup came, as the law recognized our respective rights and obligations towards each other. And we complied.

The active promotion of Rick Warren as a person to teach “The Purpose of Driven life” when he denies LGBT families their very existence as such is abhorrent to me

So how did Oprah Winfrey hurt me, my cause and my feelings?

A hero of great integrity, Oprah just  invited two people onto her show, who actively preach against these rights that belong to my family and my community and all Americans. While marriage may not be important to Oprah it is treasured by millions of Americans who need its construct for so many reasons.

According to the Advocate‘s recent report Oprah Winfrey’s Lifeclass program, where viewers “get the lessons we can all use to lead our best possible lives,” just taped an episode featuring the wisdom of two antigay pastors.

The episode starred Joel Osteen and Rick Warren and was shot on Friday in Houston. While it’s not clear what the specifics of the episode focus on, one thing is certain: Osteen and Warren hold seriously homophobic views.

Osteen, a megachurch pastor in Houston, claims he doesn’t hate gays, only views them as sinful. California pastor and author Warren is proudly against marriage equality. He also campaigned for Prop. 8 and declared support for Chick-fil-A and its antigay policies.

What hurts me immensely is that Oprah should know better.  Her forum is one that should be all inclusive and should not provide a voice for those who would deny all Americans equal treatment under the law, nor for those, albeit inadvertently, spread untruths and hate about fellow Americans.

If I were to draw my reluctant analogy  you all know what it would be – sorry but here goes:-

Oprah how would you feel if we were back in the day where interracial marriage was prohibited and you had a partner of another race whom you wanted to marry?  Imagine Olsteen, in that day, being one of the pastors who spoke out against interracial marriage. Imagine an iconic figure, such as your good self, and her Life Class show, inviting that very pastor to participate in the show  “where viewers ‘get the lessons we can all use to lead our best possible lives?'”  Would that not hurt your feelings and your cause?

By inviting Olsteen and Warren, Oprah you have kicked me and my family in the heart. It pains us to note that you endorse these pastors in any way shape or form.

Same-sex couples even if married under state law do not share in equal rights under Federal law. This will not change until The Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, is repealed. For example, even if a same-sex couple share children, who are born in America, and even if that couple married legally under the law of a state, if one is from another country, the American same-sex spouse does NOT have the right to sponsor his/her partner for a green card.  This has resulted in LGBTI families spending tens of thousands of dollars more to stay together, than heterosexual spouses.  That is if they are lucky enough to have the money to support being exiled to foreign countries, travel, career loss, legal expenses etc. And that does not make mention of the huge emotional toll to all.

Oprah perhaps you do not understand the extent to which LGBT Americans are impacted by the denial of our basic civil rights.  I urge you to show support for LGBTI American’s plight and NOT to air the show. 

Updated:- I submitted my comment to OPRAH’s question of the week on 10/08/2012 – since then 2 new comments have gone up and it would seem her moderators have failed to put mine up. I said Oprah hurt me! – see screenshot of comment below…

WARNING: Comments are moderated and vitriolic and rude comments are usually not put up, unless I choose to show the public the type of hate that LGBTI people are subjected to.  So sure, c’mon and make a fool of yourself and your cause, if you so choose! AND Oprah fans some of you fall into the category of hate. You have shown your true colors with comments that I have trashed.

BY MELANIE NATHAN
nathan@privatecourts.com

@melanienathan1

SAME-SEX COUPLES CANNOT GET GREEN CARDS

HOW PROP 8 HURT MY FAMILY

BY MELANIE NATHAN
nathan@privatecourts.com

@melanienathan1

SAME-SEX COUPLES CANNOT GET GREEN CARDS

HOW PROP 8 HURT MY FAMILY


37 thoughts on “Lesbian Mom Answers Oprah Hurt Me to Oprah’s Weekly Lifeclass Question

  1. As your source states, it is unclear on what the episode is going to be about. There is no indication that Oprah invited them for the purpose of denigrating homosexuals, nor that these two denigrate homosexuals in every speech, even those whose subject matter is unrelated to homosexuality.

    1. Oprah shpould not have invited these two anti- equality pastors under any circumstances. Did you Read my analogy in the article? I do not care what she invited them to talk about – look at the mission of the Life Class series and look at “who” they are. These people are considered by LGBT America as those who are working actively to deny us our civil rights. They are stepping over the boundaries created between Church and State. At no time has their religious freedom been interrupted or hurt, yet they see fit to deny equality under the VERY separate civil law. Their message that permeates beyond their Church walls, – such as “you are going to hell because you are gay” HURT and the messaging is killing our youth – teens commit suicide through such influence. Instead of teaching acceptance and love they focus on the literal interpretation of the bible which renders it inaccurate and causes great harm. So if they are going to do that – keep in the cionfines of their Church walls and not in open society where my community and fellow world citizens are hurt is hurt.

      1. Everyone- man and woman, gay and straight, Mormon and Protestant- has the equal right to marry one person of the opposite sex.

            1. There are millions of people around the world who fall in love with someone of the same-sex. It factors into the universal design, whether you choose to look at it from a religious or scientific angle it is fact. Then people came along and made laws – human made laws, outside of the natural order of spectrums for sexual orientation. When they made those laws, they were biased and failed very often to include minority circumstances. Just because minority circumstances are fewer does not mean they do not have the right to partake by way of parity. SO Michael Ejercito I have a sneaky suspicion you suffer from some bias or homophobia – pertaining to fear thereof! If you cannot accept the natural order and the right to man-made parity then to that I say and I quote the very eloquent Mr Ejerkcito “Tough fecal Matter”

        1. You can provide commentary and case law from here to Cairo and back – but that does not make is right. I can cite 100 slavery cases that does not make it right. I am not going to dignify your bigotry with comments and cases that endorse inequality. So stop wasting your time. Michael – there are millions of LGBTI people in the world. FACT. We are entitled to marry the person who we fall in love with. There is no legitimate reason to deny us the right to parity under the law – to govern all legal aspects of coupling. Rights, duties and obligations are created by marriage as well as privileges such as immigration – taxes – social security – healthcare etc. Why should my couple not partake in as much as yours. It hurts NO ONE!

  2. Oprah used to at least appear to have sincerity- now all I see is showmanship without any true humanity. She’s become a caricature of what she used to supposedly stand for. I guess money does that? She has forgotten her true roots. How else could you explain this horrible attack on LBGT by her?

    It’s a shame she has overcome so much to only end her days upholding blatant discrimination.

    1. LOL Ok – and what an unpatriotic American YOU are. You are asking me to get over not having equal rights? Not exercising my right to protest, complain and show my feelings = growing up? my right to complain? Lol Nice – you too have helped make the point buddy! You serve as an example as to WHY Oprah should NOT have Olsteen and Warren on her show, you prove that point and I thank you fro coming on my site to show it. I could not have done better myself to the point – good luck to you and you are welcome back anytime to help make these kind of points to my readers.

    1. I am a lesbian and it was not a choice. I allowed it through so my readers can see how some think and to serve as an example as to WHY Oprah should NOT have Olsteen and Warren on her show, you prove that point and I thank you fro coming on my site to show it. I could not have done better myself to the point – good luck to you and you are welcome back anytime to help make these kind of points to my readers. I do hope however that you will find more of an argument to make it if you choose to do so again. This time you show an immaturity and rudeness that belies any fair argument for your point.

    1. I am a lesbian and it was not a choice. I allowed it through so my readers can see how some think and to serve as an example as to WHY Oprah should NOT have Olsteen and Warren on her show, you prove that point and I thank you fro coming on my site to show it. I could not have done better myself to make it.

  3. Melanie,

    I realize you feel you ought to at least attempt to reply to all posts- but- there comes a point where you simply have to put up the, “please don’t feed the trolls” sign. I think we’re there now.

    I know it’s hard to pull the plug when you attempt to invite a discussion, but sometimes it’s best to move forward.

    Thank you for the head’s-up about the Oprah show.

    1. Thanks you are right about the Trolls AND sometimes trolls are cute toys… lol to be played with….. There are a lot that I moderate and do not allow…

    1. The active promotion of Rick Warren as a person to teach “The Purpose of Driven life” when he denies LGBT families their very existence as such is abhorrent to me

    2. I want to see where she goes with this; keep me updated. A part of me really hopes she’s going to call out his bigotry – she’s used her shows to respectfully shame/expose people before. Maybe a “which is more unhealthy – Chik Fil A’s food or Chik Fil A’s hate?” headliner?

      Your blog is great – thanks for the hard work you’re doing for the community!

      Brian

      1. I dont think the show is going to have anything to do with lgbt gay or related- It is a Lifeclass show…. to me his very input on anything pertaining to her Lifeclass mission is an insult to LGBT American and world families. I doubt that it will even come up and unlikely that she will take him to task on a show of that nature. Thanks for your thoughts and your support. Will update as i hear more…

  4. These racist, misogynist, bigoted mindless ilk are an aberration to all that is good (supposedly) within the various “good” books that remain the cornerstone to the philosophy of goodness, love, tolerance, patience … and peace. People like Rick Warren, Joel Osteen and a whole slew of greedy televangelist money-grabbers – whose sole purpose is to preach mind-control from their lofty pulpits whilst filling their coffers to overflowing abundance. But, let us not forget that Oprah’s gazillion dollar empire was founded on the cornerstone of mega corporations who have never really had any place in their pithy hearts for the downtrodden or those who think outside of the box – socially, politically, culturally, or financially … Instead of carrying one’s religious faith – humbly within one’s heart and soul … living by example instead of being mindless sheep of the the “New Order” – which has been to flaunt it with as much opulence and fervour as these sleazy “Tax-Evaders” allow …

    1. What has become so self-evident by these sensational “talk-show” programmes on TV – is just how slimy the seem to come across as – not too unlike the pathetic “20 second sound-bites” we constantly hear from political platforms – especially with the self-righteous “Tea Party” ilk …

      Because these self-serving televangelists and sensational talk-show hosts draw such large audiences … and earn mega-bucks … the “apparent” money’s they denote to various causes and charities does not absolve them of their constant hypocrisy.

      The genteel humbleness and humility of “humanity” as preached and lived by one “Jesus The Christ” is no more …

  5. All of you here, that live in the USA have to admit as an American you cannot push your religious beliefs on another. Correct? Because if YOU can tell a gay athiest or any other gay person, they can’t marry due to your religious beliefs than a muslim is also allowed to tell you to wear their religious clothing and believe as they do because it’s a sin in their religion to dress as we do. A Jewish person can force you to give up pork and grow a beard, because it’s a sin to shave it off. A Catholic can force you to give confession. Its the exact same thing. We came to the United states for freedom of religious prosecution. We all have the right to believe how we choose. You don’t want gays to marry because you say it’s a sin, but you CANNOT use that argument, it is illegal! We here in America are free to believe and worship as we feel. Separation of church and state. Gay people pay taxes why not allow full rights. They fight and protect but not full rights? Why? Please tell me why. I have yet to have anyone tell me why. Every one uses religion for their reasoning. You CANNOT! You can not use religion as an answer in this free country. If you have two ladies that live next door it’s none of your business if they are sisters, roommates, strangers, cousins,mother and daughter or lovers. It’s no more your business than your bedroom activities are my business. My neighbors love lives don’t effect me. If my neighbor had 5 wives, it’s not my business. If my neighbor is having an affair on his wife, it’s a sin according to many religions, but it’s none of my business. This is the land of the free! I am a Christian but I am also an American. If I want religious freedom I cannot rob another of theirs even when it doesn’t agree with mine. Why would you want to rob a couple in love the joy of marrying their partner just as you did. How selfish. Remember the joy you felt when you were first married? Nothing like it. Im ashamed to be a Christian when I read so many judgemental hateful statements from my fellow Christians. Its a sin, they scream. Must be nice to not be a sinner yourself and be so perfect and so righteous that Jesus sent you a message allowing you to judge. Tred lightly for you sin too, and all sins are equal, that’s what it says in that book you push.

    1. OH MY G-D – hahahah-lol – sorry i am laughing but on the one hand you rant about religious freedom and then you deny me mine in the next breathe. When you say “. Must be nice to not be a sinner yourself and be so perfect and so righteous that Jesus sent you a message allowing you to judge.” You are forcing me into Christianity – I am not a Christian – I am a Jewish person – born that way – and now you want me to believe what you believe – OR are you going to have the politeness to allow me MY RELIGIOUS FREEDOM which is my belief that jesus was just another ordinary Jew, not the son of G-d and not the Messiah. That is what I believe . So stick by your rant and stop forcing your religion on me! Though thank uou for going to the extra length to make the point.

      1. when I wrote this……Im ashamed to be a Christian when I read so many judgemental hateful statements from my fellow Christians. Its a sin, they scream. Must be nice to not be a sinner yourself and be so perfect and so righteous that Jesus sent you a message allowing you to judge. Tred lightly for you sin too, and all sins are equal, that’s what it says in that book you push…………

        I am speaking to people who judge others and tell others hire to live their lives. I am speaking about people that call gay people sinners and shout that we are destined to hell, when they themselves are sinners…..

        I have no clue how you feel I am trying to permanent you from being Jewish or from having rights.
        still looking for some place to stick it,
        Heidi

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