My Queer* Answer to Michael Savage’s Bribe to Gingrich

by Melanie Nathan, a Lesbian liberal Democrat… Dec 12, 2011

I remember once turning my radio dial and hearing the nuttiest commentary ever. It was a man called Michael Savage. He was ranting like a crazy person saying stuff I would not repeat in my deaf dog’s ear.  I turned the dial again and he never came back on my airwaves – thank you Hashem!

But then I saw this today and I looked him up and apparently he is a really well known talk radio host who is so toxic he has been barred from entering the United Kingdom. But he lives in the land of the free where you can hate and promote openly – as much as you like. He is uber-conservative and has millions of listeners – apparently – I mean maybe he wrote his own Wikipedia extract himself – not unheard of -!

This Savage wants Gingrich gone out of the Presidential race and he his willing to pay mega bucks for it – the man who he thinks destroys the notion of conservatism and in bold caps too – because I think he cannot type and probably does not have anyone stupid enough to do it for him  – even if he can pay them..

This is what he wrote – I hope you have the stomach – I cut and paste but did not read past the first few sentences. Please friends be so kind as to do it for me…

SAVAGE OFFERS GINGRICH $1 MILLION TO DROP OUT OF THE RACE — WILL ANNOUNCE ON SHOW TODAY

(SUBJECT TO ALL THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS TO BE EXPRESSLY STATED BY DR. SAVAGE, INCLUDING GINGRICH DROPPING OUT WITHIN 72 HOURS OF TODAY)

THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL FIELD HAS COME DOWN TO TWO CANDIDATES WHO HAVE A REAL CHANCE OF GETTING THE NOMINATION: NEWT GINGRICH AND MITT ROMNEY. WHILE IT’S TRUE THAT ROMNEY IS NOT AS STRONG A CONSERVATIVE AS MANY WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE, THE MOST PRESSING ISSUE BEFORE AMERICA TODAY IS DEFEATING BARACK OBAMA. AND THAT IS SOMETHING NEWT GINGRICH CANNOT DO. FOR WEEKS ON MY SHOW, I HAVE ENUMERATED THE REASONS WHY GINGRICH CANNOT SUCCEED IN AN ELECTION AGAINST OBAMA:

  • ·        WHEN HE WAS SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, GINGRICH FAILED TO DELIVER ON HIS SO-CALLED CONTRACT WITH AMERICA.
  • ·        HE MADE ADS WITH NANCY PELOSI PROMOTING THE FALSE THEORY OF GLOBAL WARMING.
  • ·        HE’S IN FAVOR OF AMNESTY FOR ILLEGAL ALIENS.
  • ·        HE’S TAKEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FROM FANNIE MAE AND FREDDIE MAC, TWO OF THE MOST CORRUPT FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS IN HISTORY.
  • ·        HE’S CHEATED ON TWO WIVES AND LEFT BOTH OF THEM WHILE THEY WERE BOTH SERIOUSLY ILL, WHICH WILL DESTROY HIS CHANCES AMONG FEMALE VOTERS.
  • ·        HE CALLED THE REPUBLICAN PLAN TO REFORM MEDICARE “RIGHT WING SOCIAL ENGINEERING.”
  • ·        IN A PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE AGAINST OBAMA, REGARDLESS OF HOW WELL HE DOES, ON TELEVISION, HE WILL COME OFF BADLY COMPARED TO OBAMA AND LOOK LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN WHAT HE IS: A FAT, OLD, WHITE MAN.

NEWT GINRICH IS UNELECTABLE. MITT ROMNEY IS THE ONLY CANDIDATE WITH A CHANCE OF DEFEATING BARACK OBAMA, AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT FOR FUTURE HEALTH, SAFETY, AND SECURITY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THEREFORE, I AM OFFERING NEWT GINGRICH ONE MILLION DOLLARS TO DROP OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE FOR THE SAKE OF THE NATION.

IF NEWT GINGRICH REALLY LOVES THIS COUNTRY AS MUCH AS HE SAYS HE DOES, IF HE REALLY WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR AMERICA, HE WILL SET HIS EGO ASIDE, CALL ME, AND ACCEPT MY OFFER. HIS CONTINUED CANDIDACY SPELLS NOTHING BUT RUIN FOR CONSERVATIVES, REPUBLICANS, AND ALL TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOTS. ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN EXCHANGE FOR PRESERVING THE NATION, NEWT. I SAY TAKE THE MONEY… AND DON’T RUN.

So I scroll down and here I am to say this – one million dollars Michael Savage? You know that is piddle money. Hell this guy gives Calista a $250K ring and he does not even have to pay for it.  That means in 4 birthdays time he is out cold.  You coward you Savage – you know he is not going to take it. Offer him ten million if you are serious and then put it in a trust account so he can see “you are real… MAN!”

We all know the presidency is worth much more than that… hey Savage? Can you HEAR ME ?

Okay queer femme to man here buddy: “suck it in…. just let the Gingrich be – let him run please please – we at the liberal left love the action – the hypocrisy – the conservative few that your team can muster up. Oh pleeeease leave the field open pleeeaaaase……. the Power of Savage walk away buddy!

* “Queer” as in strange – of course!

 

We all know the presidency is worth much more than that… hey Savage? Can you HEAR ME ?


One thought on “My Queer* Answer to Michael Savage’s Bribe to Gingrich

  1. This is the sort of stuff you just couldn’t make up if you tried…omg!

    Seriously, it reads like a political send-up from Futurama (only more ludicrous because it’s real!)…

    Every time I think “well, it cannot get any crazier than (insert newest GOP goings-on)”, another right-wing oddball forces their way to the front…

    I literally shudder to even contemplate any of them running the country…

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